Monday, December 5, 2011

In the Raw

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The first thing I can say right now is that I want to throw up, out of pure nervousness.
O.K, I've also been sick all week, so that might be it.
But I was standing in my bathroom today, playing with the new lipstick I got, and was thinking about all the pictures I DONT have of myself to post.
Does that sound bad? yeah.
What I really mean is that I really havent had much to post about because I really havent been accomplishing anything. I feel as though I have just been surviving the past couple of months.
Havent given myself any directive, or I have, and completely fell off the band wagon.
Where am I going?
I've been dismissing things that give me pure joy just because I havent had the "umph" to push through. I've become a zombie mom once again, and am just wondering around my house like hopeless bum.
My sister came home the other day and said " So "so and so" came into my work, and she was wearing workout clothes, and I was like ; Oh, did you just get back from the gym?: and she was like "no, just working", then I was thinking to myself , geez sometimes YOU (she was looking at moi) wear your workout clothes all the time when you are feeling fat, and I just totally called her on it, I feel bad" .... then my sister walks away.
Which left me looking down at what I had been wearing all day.
Workout pants and a baggy t-shirt.
The sisterly love within me wanted to walk into her room, kick down the door then start beating her with a pillow, but the adult in me just stood there in shock.
I dont even know what to type now.... I think I am still in shock, and going over my downfall month by month in my mind.
Where in the world is Christina?
I have to find her.
Where ever she is, she has got some hot pink lipstick on :)

1 comments:

CreationsbyJune said...

Love the lipstick color and love the hair color!!!!
and sometimes you just gotta wear sweats spent all day in them yesterday and a baggy nasty sweatshirt and yes part of it is because I feel like a humpback whale but without the cool singing

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